The Silent "I"

Who Will be the Next Sanjaya on American Idol?

I confess:  I love American Idol.  I believe I've watched every episode of every show since Kelly Clarkson first warbled her way into America's living rooms, through raw talent and an "aw shucks, I'm-justa-lil-gal-from-Texas" charm that melted the cold, cold heart of Simon Cowell and illicit music downloaders everywhere.  I look forward to the American Idol season the way men in West Virginia look forward to the first day of deer season.  The siren call of FRESH MEAT is just too much for us to ignore.

I don't really care for the early auditions. I do think, however, that all Republican members of Congress should be forced to watch them on a continuous loop with their eyes taped open, like in A Clockwork Orange, until they have no choice but to vote in favor of funding programs for the mentally ill.  Clearly, American Idol does more to expose the need for mental health care in America than any 500 page tome issued by the American Psychiatric Association.  The parade of the the tragically tone-deaf and delusional is hard to watch without wanting to pop an anti-psychotic yourself or at the very least, invest in Eli Lilly stock.

My favorite part of the audition process is Hollywood Week.  In Hollywood, the 200 or so Idol hopefuls culled out of the equivalent to the entire population of Kansas who auditioned, are put through a rigorous program of performing, sleep deprivation, and public humiliation.  It's like The Stanford Prison Experiment: The Musical. The idea is that the 200 or so decent singers will be reduced to 36 who will, through head-to-head competition, be winnowed down to 12 that America votes on.  Those who make it will advance on and be judged by an army of pre-teens and senior citizens with speed dial.  Those who don't move on will likely go back winning karaoke contests and performing in the chorus of the local dinner-theatre's revival of "Annie Get Your Gun."

With Love, to Redneck Mommy

 

In honor of the lovely Tanis' new little boy, the ladies of Better than a Playdate are throwing her a little shower, and asking the momosphere (and dadosphere) to write up how you know if you're a redneck mommy.  Tanis, whose heart is bigger than a double-wide trailer, is adopting a little boy with special needs.  You can help out by sending a donation via Paypal to coolmompicks@gmail.com.

You know you're a redneck mommy when...

• Your kid wears a nicotine patch, and he's 9.

• Your pickup sports a bumper sticker that says "My kid is an honor student at the County Juvenile Detention Center"

• When it's your turn to be Snack Mom, you bring Cheetos, Slim Jims, and Coors Light.

• Your PTA Auction donation is "An Evening of Poledancing Lessons," taught by you, in your home.

• Your kids get to skip school on the opening day of dove hunting season.

• You think My Name is Earl is a Reality Show.

• Your daughter has a tiny butterfly tattoo on her hip, right above the diaper tape.

• You can't drive carpool because your minivan is up on blocks in the front yard.

• Your backseat seatbelts are broken, so you just duct tape the kids in when you're driving them to skeet shooting practice.

• Your kids' playscape in the backyard is made of cinderblocks, PVC pipes, and chickenwire.

• Your kids are all named after characters on Scooby Doo, and all of them have the middle name "Wayne."
• You have a multi-person Snuggie.

All kidding aside, you really know you're a redneck mommy when your heart gets shattered time and again and yet you find the courage to piece it back together and open it up to a child who needs you as much as you need him. 

To Tanis & Kaden & the Redneck Mommy family, who all know this is not the happy ending they've been waiting for, but the happy beginning, and to all the mommies and daddies (redneck and otherwise) who teach us all about strength, courage, and the power of love every day... 

Happy Valentine's Day

Movie Review: Coraline

The new animated movie "Coraline" from director Henry Selick, takes you into a magical world that takes hold in the opening sequence and doesn't release you until the very last credit.  Based on the book by fantasy writer and internet rock star Neil Gaiman, Coraline is a visual treat with a strong storyline, compelling characters, and clever animation that propels it along. This is the first 3D movie I've seen in which the 3D actually enhanced the action and didn't seem like a throwaway gimmick. 

The story revolves around a young girl, Coraline Jones, a recent transplant from Michigan to a decrepit pink Victorian apartment house in the Oregon woods.  Her parents are work-at-home writers who are working on  a gardening catalog, but hate dirt and seem to have little interest in either gardening or their child.  In her exploring around the old house, Coraline comes upon a small door that gives her entrance into an alternate world, one where she is the center of attention.  At first, it seems like a dream come true, but Coraline soon learns that she should be careful what she wishes for.

Coraline's main complaint against her parents is a familiar refrain. "You never listen to me," she whines to her mother.  I'm not sure I know any child (or adult for that matter) who hasn't said or felt that sentiment at one time or another.  What Coraline does for parents is to point out that the simple act of listening, and not necessarily indulgence, is what children really want.

Visually, the movie is a stunning, relying on a combination of stop-motion artistry and digital magic.  Coraline's world is beautiful, creepy, and strange, and altogether wonderful. 

As a caution, our 8 year old son thought the movie was too a little too intense at times, although he has seen all of the "Star Wars" and "Lord of the Rings" movies.  When I asked why those movies didn't scare him and this one did, he was vague murmured something about the "weird button eyes".  I think it was because a child he identified with was in peril, and that is more unsettling to him than fantasy monsters and battle scenes.

Some kids will love the spine-tingly creepiness, others will be disturbed by it.  I'm not sure if it's entirely fair to assign a specific age group that this film is suitable for.  You need to know your kids and their sensitivities.  The best way to find out how they will react is by listening to them.  I'm pretty sure that's what Coraline would advise you to do.

Mmmm...Cheesecake

Did you know that Eli's Cheesecake in Chicago was the official cheesecake for the Obama Inauguration?  I was one of the lucky bloggers who got to try out Eli's on inauguration day, and they were kind enough to ship not one, but two delicious cheesecakes to my door.

The cheesecakes were express mailed to me in a styrofoam container with dry ice in it, so they were still frozen when they arrived.  Both were decorated with an official "Inauguration 2009" seal with Obama's home state of Illinois embossed on it.  Around the edges were blue star sprinkles.

I got two because I mentioned that I was going to two Inauguration breakfasts that day, one at the home of Julie Lythcott-Haims, one of our local Obama delegates at the DNC, and a guest blogger at MOMocrats.  The second party was at the home of my MOMocrats co-founder and partner in crime, Stefania Butler.  Stefania's party was hosted by Quaker Oats.

Julie opened her home to about 100 dedicated Obama volunteers, and had organized a potluck.  I dropped off Alex at school, and swung by Julie's house and was greeted by a big sign on her garage.

At least I knew I was in the right place.

Stefania's party was more low-key, and most of the people there were other bloggers, other MOMocrats and Silicon Valley Moms Bloggers (and the intrepid Backpacking Dad).  We ate oatmeal and cheesecake for breakfast that day, and toasted each other with mimosas. 

Yes We Can.  Yes We Did.  AND there was cheesecake.

Bringing Snuggie Back

My son is an expert on "As Seen on TV" commercials.  Right before my birthday, he asked me, "Mom, don't you wish you had a Snuggie?"

"A what?" I asked.

"You know, one of those nice soft blankets with arms," he replied.

I told him that I could not see a need for a blanket with arms, since a blanket would do just fine.

"But if you have a Snuggie, you can go outside and roast marshmallows in it," he argued.

"Why would I do that?  I have a jacket.  Besides, when do we ever roast marshmallows outside?"

He wouldn't give up on this notion that what my wardrobe was missing was my very own Snuggie.  I had no idea what this was all about.

On my birthday, I found out why he was so sold on the many uses for the Snuggie...he and his dad surprised me with one as a gift (and Dad threw in a matching sapphire necklace to boot).

One thing the Snuggie ad doesn't mention is that you can achieve the great two-headed Snuggie look pictured here, just by cuddling up with your favorite little person on the couch.  Who knew it was so versatile?

The other day, Alex told me that my eyelashes looked a little "clumpy" and that he knew just the thing to fix that.  I guess Valentine's Day is just around the corner.  I'll try to act surprised.  In the meantime, I'll try to drop a few hints that what I really want is a Pancake Puffer.

Disneyland Adventures

Through some amazing stroke of luck, we were invited to a press event at Disneyland in December.  The Disney folks invited Frank, Alex, and myself to enjoy a weekend at the park with a hundred or so other mombloggers and their families.  Frank was skeptical that this was all free, and kept wondering when they were going to start pitching timeshares at us.  He morphed into a tall version of Grumpy and went along anyway.

The first evening, the Disney folks invited us to a dinner buffet, and a presentation.  Frank was convinced that there would be talk of mouse-shaped condos, but I shrugged it off.  The presentation turned out to be nary a word about timeshares, but a very useful demonstration by the pastry chef and his assistant of how to make a gingerbread house, and a slide show on the gigantic gingerbread houses they make every year for the Haunted Mansion, each year with a different theme.  This year, the "house" is actually a coffin.  It looked cool, but like a lot of work to make a 13 foot long coffin out of gingerbread. 

The second presenter talked about the Disney Photopass system, and how you get a card to carry around, and everytime a Disney photographer takes your picture, it's uploaded to their site.  You can order prints from there, upload your own photos, and make decorative calendars, mousepads, mugs, and other things with your photo on them.  It seemed like a pretty efficient system. Techmama did an excellent write up of it here.

How to Transfer A Domain Name: Phase I (or, Bye-Bye GoDaddy)

Since I made such a fuss over the Super Bowl ads on Sunday, I decided to follow through and actually try to figure out how to transfer my domain registration out of GoDaddy to another site.  Even though I hate doing anything technical, I thought I'd better put my money where my mouth is on this one.

I asked around Twitter, and came up with the list I posted yesterday. One of the sites, Register.com actually tweeted me with an offer to help. I went with Register.com, since apparently someone there was on the ball and paying attention.  I'm easy like that.

First, I found some basic instructions on eHow.com to get started.

Here are the specifics of how to do the transfer from GoDaddy to Register.com:

1. Log into GoDaddy.com.  If you don't know your Customer Number, User Name, or password (like me), you can click the link on the log-in page to have that information emailed to you to get into the site. Check your junk mailbox if you don't see it immediately.
2. After you log in, go to My Products -> Domains ->Domain Manager on the menu on the left side menu. 
3. This will bring up a list of your domain names.  Click on the one you wish to transfer.
4. In the toolbar, click on the the icon that says "Locking".  Make sure that your account is not locked.  If it is, unclick the box that says "Lock Domains" and click OK.  You have to unlock before you can transfer.
5. Go back to the Domain Manager Page. If your registration is public, the bottom row will show your home or business address.  If it is public and correct, skip to Step #7.  If it is private, it will show the address of Domains by Proxy, and you need to do Step #6 before you go on.
6. If it is private, you will need to log into Domains by Proxy and change the setting to Public before you can transfer your domain registration.  If you're like me and have no clue what your Domains by Proxy Customer number or password is, follow the instructions to retrieve those. Again, be sure to check your junk mailbox to find the information, because it will undoubtedly end up there.  After you get it, log and reset your account to PUBLIC.  You will not receive a refund for the amount you paid to make it private, and you will have to pay this fee again with your new host.  It costs about $10 per year.
7. After you check to make sure the info on your GoNaddy account page is now public, and you can see that your address, email address, etc. are correct, be sure to unlock your account by clicking the little lock in the small toolbar.
8. Now, go to the top box and look for a line that says "Authorization Code" in the first column.  Click on the link that says "Send by Email" and click OK at the prompt.  You need this for the transfer.  You will receive an email with a very long code that you use to finalize the transfer.
9. Decide which company you want to transfer to and either call their customer support line, or use their online instructions to create an account and set up the transfer.
10. I decided on Register.com, so I called their customer support to find out what to do next.  Their number is 1-866-714-5960.  Be sure to have your authorization code handy.
11. I was transferred to sales at Register.com, and spoke to a very nice woman named Barbara.  I told her what I wanted to do and why, and she said she was a mom of boys, so she definitely understood.  She asked me to give her my domain name, and the authorization code.  Since the code is case and number-specific, she emailed me and asked me to cut & paste it to be sure.  She then sent a request to transfer to GoBaddy.
12. They gave me the rest of the year's registration plus an additional year for $14.95.  There may be cheaper registration sites out there, but I was happy that for $14.95 I could be rid of the other site for good. 
13. It will take 5-8 days for the registration to finally process, and I will receive a notice when the domain is transfered to the Register server.  When that happens, I will need to go into my Typepad account to complete the transfer.  I will write that up as it happens and post it here.
14. 11. Register.com will send you an email asking for you to authorize the transfer within 24 hours of the request.  Be sure that you respond to the email, so that they can request it from GoDaddy.

I am probably one of the least technically-inclined people I know, so for me to do this was kind of a big deal.  It's somewhat easier and more intuitive than it sounds here, but it did take me some time to hunt around the various pages to find what I was looking for.  I like having everything spelled out for me, so that's why I wrote this up.  Hopefully, it will go smoothly for you, if you opt to do this.

You should note that you will not receive a refund if you transfer mid-year, so you may want to wait until your domain names are close to expiring.  You can find out when your expiration date is by looking at the Domain Manager page, and setting this up on your calendar.

Super Bowl Ads of the Super Stupid

I haven't actually watched the Super Bowl for a number of years, until yesterday.  For most of it, I was twittering along with the 500 or so people I follow there. By the end, there was quite a bit of chatter on twitter about certain blatantly sexist ads that seemed to have nothing to do with what they were selling.

Most of the ads went by without much notice.  I was somewhat puzzled by the ad featuring Danica Patrick, somehow being manipulated by teenage boys into showering with a blonde woman.  It wasn't apparent what they were trying to sell, other than a form of cheeseball sexism that mainly works on 15 year old boys and 35 year old men who still live with their mothers.  I rolled my eyes, but didn't think much more of it.

The next one, though, really irritated me.  It showed a couple of big-busted models in a courtroom with Danica Patrick, and ends with one of the models thrusting her breasts into the camera while saying something about being "enhanced." What that has to do with the incredibly dull and unsexy task of registering internet domain names is beyond me.  I'd rather have a spinal tap than ever do another DNS mapping.  Does this marketing really work? If so, maybe Lysol should use bikini models to show men how incredibly sexy it is to clean the bathroom.  Now that would be useful, and more likely to get them some action.

Long Time No See

It's been a while since I posted here, and I could come up with a list of excuses for not posting.  Something like:

1. I've been busy.
2. I've been sick.
3. I've been traveling.
4. I've been Twittering.
5. I've been Facebooking.
6. I've been swamped at work.
7. I've been dealing with family issues.

All of the above are true, but the real reason I haven't been blogging is that I really haven't really felt like it. I've had lots of great things to blog about, like a fun press trip to Disneyland, courtesy of Disney, a wonderful reunion with my oldest and dearest friends in New York for a bat mitzvah, a whale-watching trip to Monterey with my parents, my 48th birthday (flowers above were from Frank) and of course, Barack Obama's transition from candidate to President.  I've wanted to write about all of these, but somehow, time slips by and days meld into each other, and the inspiration to document it all seems to have vanished.

Yes, friends, I've lost my blogger mojo. It reminds me of a Lucinda Williams song, "I think I lost it/Let me know if you come across it."

I'm a little tired, and somewhere along the line, it stopped being a fun little self-indulgence and became another job, added to an already overloaded schedule.  My blog has been for me a memoir, a tool of empowerment, and a source of sanity at times.  When it started feeling like a burden, I needed to take a break.

Over the past month, I've considered whether I should continue blogging here at all, whether it means enough to me to take the time to keep up a blog on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis.  I could just pack it all up and spend any writing time over at MOMocrats, Kimchi Mamas, or SV Moms.  I could just spend all my time on other social networking.  I could spend my time with my family.  I could take up snowboarding or needlepointing or napping.  At this point, I just don't know.

So, to figure out whether or not I should pack it all in, I'm going to make one big effort to get back on the blog and do NaBloPoMo this month.  It's a short month, so I should be able to figure out whether it's worth it for me to keep blogging or just retire the blog on a happy note.

Watch this space for more to come...at least for now.