Here's what I guest-posted over at BlogRhet on Wednesday. The discussion is ongoing. I'm honored to be a part of it.
...I am a Korean-American, the product of a Caucasian father and a Korean mother. For my entire life, I've embraced the duality of my heritage, faced being the "Asian girl" in my all-white school in Ohio, and the "white girl" when visiting my relatives Korea. I am always checking "Other" on government forms when asked about my race. I am the perpetual "other."
I started my blog, The Silent I, nearly two years ago, to share information about a Katrina relief trip that I took with my friend, Jill Asher. After the torrent of words and stories spilled out, I realized how much I loved writing. I then started blogging the stories of our family travels, the small details of places and people we met. I blogged so that I would not forget. I blogged to capture memories for my son to read when he grows up, when the places we've been to as a family are only distant echoes to him. I am an observer and storyteller, bearing witness to the small details and nuances of life.
After blogging on my own for a while, I started to contribute to two collaborative blogs. As a mixed race person, it is probably only fitting that I contribute to two very different group blogs, one with a Korean-theme and the other made up of primarily Caucasian women who live in Silicon Valley. My experiences with these two communities have been as different as the two sides of my heritage.
Kimchi Mamas is collaborative blog of women with ties to Korea. Stumbling upon this blog and "meeting" the Kimchi Mamas on-line was like being reunited with some long-lost relatives, people I pined for, but didn't actually know. The site has been a place where I can read about current events in Korea, Korean culture, and stories of growing up hapa in a world that defines us as one thing or another. The blog sits at the intersection of culture and parenting, dealing with parental struggles to keep the best parts of our culture and instill a respect of our Korean heritage in our children. We often talk about race and culture on Kimchi Mamas, and have open threads for readers to discuss the things that are on their minds. We've had racists attacks that lead to people being banned, but for the most part, it's a lively, respectful discussion.
Recently, I shared a story with the Kimchi Mamas on helping my mom study to become a US citizen when I was 8 years old. It was a memory that I cherish, an experience that shapes much of my outlook on citizenship, social responsibility, and my identity as a Korean-American. I knew that I could share it there, with other children of immigrants and and they would understand. I received numerous comments from readers, sharing their own citizenship stories or their memories of helping parents and grandparents study for the citizenship exam, and comments from people who are thinking about becoming citizens themselves. On my personal blog, when I cross-posted the same story, I got comments like, "That was a nice story." The difference was that the Kimchi Mamas related to the story on a deeply personal level; my blog readers read it as just another observation.
I think at Kimchi Mamas, many of us find a community that we don't find in our daily lives, and a safe place to discuss things that others in our social spheres might not understand. I had dinner with two other Kimchi Mamas a few months ago, and one of them remarked, "I think this is the biggest gathering of Korean-Caucasian hapa women I've ever been to!"
It seemed funny that three people would be a large gathering, but true. There aren't many places where you find large communities of mixed-race people, but when we do get together, there is an instant recognition, a familiarity that comes from being the perpetual "other." There is a twenty year age gap between myself and the youngest Kimchi Mama, but I find that the experiences of all of them resonate with me, even if lives have been completely different from each other.
The Silicon Valley Moms Blog is a collaborative blog that a couple of friends of mine started about the same time as Kimchi Mamas. The writers are predominately white and middle class, with several Asian moms in the mix (though the founders have tried to recruit other moms of color to contribute). In the SV Moms Blog, the things we have in common are a location and the fact that we are all mothers. There are a number of different points of view represented on all different issues. For the most part, the postings are funny stories about being a less-than-perfect parent and the crazy place we call home, along with some topical stories thrown in for discussion. The community aspect of the blog is apparent when we get together in person, and in off-line discussions.
On SV Moms, Race is rarely a topic that is discussed, and when it has been, it has been somewhat incendiary, as Jason mentioned in his posting. There are postings that I relate to, and some I can't fathom at all. I don't have the same sense of cohesion and community that I have with Kimchi Mamas, but I enjoy reading the various points of view that come across on SV Moms. I can't say that I "know" who the readers are in the same way that I have gotten to know the Kimchi Mama readers from their frequent comments.
When Kelly of Mocha Momma raised her question at BlogHer in the "State of the Momosphere" session and asked why advertisers don't solicit help from bloggers of color, it occured to me that I get solicited by advertisers fairly regularly on my personal blog and via the SV Moms, but have never seen a request come through Kimchi Mamas. It wasn't something that I thought of previously, and figured that maybe one of the other Kimchi Mamas were handling any requests for these types of things, or the group had decided not to accept any advertising beyond the BlogHer ads. Then, Stefania spoke up and said that Kimchi Mamas has not received any marketing requests. At the time, I felt like I was gobsmacked in the head with a big old reality check.
I sat in that session and tried to wrap my head around this information. I was wondering why I get solicited to try products, but the Kimchi Mamas blog does not. Is it because I have an Anglo name? I don't hide the fact that I'm half-Korean on my blog, but I don't have many pictures of myself, and it's not the subject of every blog post. I see that as part of my identity as writer, mother, wife, citizen, traveler, lawyer, and all the other aspects of myself. It is perhaps the singular thing that defines me at my core: person of mixed-race, always balancing between two worlds.
Kimchi Mamas has about ten times the number of readers than my personal blog does, and a much more devoted fan-base. We have regular readers and commenters there that are as much a part of the life of the blog as the contributors . The Silicon Valley Moms Blog gets a dozen solicitations per day from advertisers, and has a similar number of readers/page views per day as Kimchi Mamas. Why is that? Is it because the Silicon Valley Moms Blog does a better job of selling itself that Kimchi Mamas? Possibly. Or do the advertisers shy away from something that is perceived to be "too ethnic" to have broad appeal, while SV Moms are considered to be mostly white and upper middle class?
After Kelly raised her question, I now think it is the latter. I also think it is a huge mistake on the part of the advertising world to ignore the community aspects of blogs like Kimchi Mamas and Rice Daddies and the loyalty and participation they engender.
Some of the advertisers have argued back that they go with "quantitative" analysis of Technorati rankings and perceived popularity of particular blogs to determine the blog's influence. I don't think that argument holds water. If it's influence marketers are seeking, then it would seem that a qualitative analysis would be more fitting. One measure of that might be reader loyalty. How many subscribers does a blog have? How many active, repeat commenters?
Additionally, I don't think it should matter one whit if my last name is Campbell or Kim or Leung as to whether or not I would drink a particular brand of coffee or use a particular detergent. If advertisers are going to seek us out, they should solicit to us as educated and thoughtful consumers first, and as people of a particular race or background second. We can decide what is appropriate for ourselves.
I think that one of the great developments in the blogosphere over the past few years has been the emergence of sites people of color come together to share their experiences in a safe place for discussion and consideration. Aside from the ones Jason mentioned, there is Nisaa (We Are Muslim Women) and Sepia Mutiny (Indian-American). I enjoy reading those blogs because they offer insight into communities that I don't know much about, and help me better understand the world. I think advertisers miss the mark completely when they ignore the impact of these types blogs and their ability to foster community and influence readers.
Collaborative blogs allow different voices within a defined community to be heard, and allow people who are not of that particular background to gain insight and understanding. Stereotypes are harmful because they deny the essential humanity of the individual to think and act and make choices based on their own life experience. We live in a society that celebrates the "rugged individualist" and "out of the box thinker", but does everything it can to make everyone fit the same mold.
It is those individual stories and responses to the world that defy racial stereotyping and broad generalizations, but resonate deeply and build community. They are stories that need to be told. They are stories that need to be heard. Embracing those stories and communities makes them no longer other; it makes them us.
