The Silent "I"

The Bachelor, Season 14, Episode 2: Juan Pablo 2, Electric Boogaloo

This week's episode of "The Bachelor" was chock full of the kind of drama (read: audience manipulation) that we've come to expect over the years: gratuitous nudity, drunken meltdowns, father issues, and a neon rave. Essentially, it had all the elements of an episode of HBO's "Girls".

The women have now settle in to the Bachelor mansion, also known as "The Snake Pit" for the uninitiated.  In the opening, they are lounging around in bikinis, awaiting date cards, because that's just what single women do in real life.  The date cards are indicators of who Juan Pablo may be serious about getting to know and who he wants to compete for his attention like puppies at the pound, barking on their way to the doggie death chamber.

The first date went to Clare, a hairstylist from Sacramento. Clare is the kind of sweet, earnest girl who comes in second or third in this show, only to rebound back as the next Bachelorette.  Before you go yelling "SPOILER" on me, just let me say this is speculation based on years of tortured research. 

Anyway, Juan Pablo arrives and whisks Clare off in a blindfold, because it's edgy and so very "50 Shades" and because he doesn't want her to know that they have just been driving around in circles for an hour, only to arrive at some soundstage in Burbank covered in fake snow. There's faux sledding, faux skating, and other faux winter sports, including snuggling up by a faux fire while wearing shorts and tank tops. It's the kind of Winter Wonderland only Disney could deliver, without the fun of the Matterhorn.  After drinking some hot toddies, the two are treated to a concert by a faux Gavin Degraw, who, I'm told by @tippytoes, was not available because he is touring with One Direction. Good for him for not being suckered into this one.

Date #2 opened with Kat (Possibly Kit? Let's call her "Kit-Kat") hoping for a quiet, romantic getaway with Juan Pablo. He whisks her off on a private jet (so far so good), only to emerge from the galley area wearing an 80's track suit accessorized with neon. He gives her a similar outfit, and when they land in the World Capital of Romance known as Salt Lake City, they set off on a techno-fueled dance-run for charity. It looks like the Disneyland black light parade with 20,000 or so screaming people  in neon dancing through the street.  Although initially disappointed, Kit-Kat goes with it and shows that she's fun and "Essy-going" as Juan Pablo says, which he wants in a wife-mom.

After the Juan Pablo 2: Electro Boogaloo episode, there's another group date.  The dozen or so women on the date are asked to don various costumes for a photo shoot to promote pet adoption for an animal shelter. Some get elegant gowns for a "Lady & the Tramp" tribute; others, swimsuits because it's the Bachelor and there must be swimsuits in every scene. The two last costumes are simple cardboard signs saying "Adopt Me", so the "models" will be nude except for the signage. Of course, these costumes are reserved for the prosecutor and the first grade teacher, in order to make it as humiliating as possible.

The wily first grade teacher finds a solution to her dilemma ("I want to be a good role model for the kids") by asking the professional Free Spirit to trade costumes with her. Free Spirit Lucy is thrilled, tossing aside the sign-costume  to take the dog on a naked romp in the streets of Santa Monica, because California is a clothing-optional state, or at least a clothing-optional state of mind. As a resident of California, I can attest that I have only once seen someone walk down the street totally naked, and that was in The Castro.  Draw your own conclusions on that one.

Juan Pablo shows himself to be pretty game as well, stripping down to "el buffo" as they say on El Bachelor, and helps the pretty DA feel better about having all the dudes she convicted see her naked on national TV.  It's like "Prosecutors Gone Wild!" up in here.  I kind of wonder what the guys she sent to Cell Block D have to say about that. 

Afterwards, we get to see the real "drama" of the evening, in which one very young contestant gets drunk and makes an ass of herself. The telling part here  isn't so much in her behavior, which, honestly, every woman alive has either done or been witness to in her teens and twenties, but in the reactions to her behavior. The reactions ranged from genuine concern and compassion to total judgey Bitchy McBitcherson from "Dog Lover" Kelly. My 13 year old was watching this and said, "I'd rather date the drunk girl than the mean girl, because at least the drunk girl can stop drinking, but the mean girl is probably just mean all the way through."  

I sometimes wonder if the producers of The Bachelor think 13 year old boys are their core audience, what with all the naked and semi-naked women running around.  If so, they just lost another one.

Juan Pablo tries to reason with Drunk Girl, but she wants to be left alone to sob in peace, so he leaves her be. She tries to escape, but is thwarted at the elevators by International Man of Douchery, Producer Elan of @theYearofElan fame. Somehow, they manage to get her to sleep it off in a hotel. The following day, she apologizes and seems genuinely embarassed by her behavior, but Juan Pablo humanely sends her packing. 

The dullest Rose Ceremony on record results in reporter Awkward Amy being cut.  Also, in keeping with 30 years of Bachelor history, the lone African-American contestant, Chantal, was also sent home. It's too bad. I liked her commentary. 

Predictions for Next Week: More hot tubs, more bikinis, more drinking.  In other words, more of the same.  I also predict I won't have the names of the blondes sorted out until about Week 6.

 

 

Related articles

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JUANuary: The Harem Arrives [Episode 1]

Rating The Bachelor Dates: Week 2

The Bachelor: Victoria Gets a Little too Crunk.

The Lion King in SF: Long Live the King!

 

Jelani Remy, as Simba in The Lion King

My family had the opportunity to see the latest incarnation of The Lion King at San Francisco's  beautiful Orpheum Theater recently, courtesy of SHN.  My son and I had seen the show about 7 or 8 years ago, when he was a very little tyke who was scared to death of the big stampede.  He was so scared, in fact, he hid under the seat until the wildebeast stampede was over. As a jaded, world-weary 12 year old, I wasn't sure how he might respond to what had been one of his favorite, yet most traumatic, stories of his childhood.  At twelve, he was as enthralled with this production as he was with the one he had seen at age 5, and more impressed than ever with the showmanship, the dazzling costumes, puppetry and sheer magic of the production.

Prior to the show, we had a chance to meet the stars of the show, Syndee Winters and Jelani Remy, who play the adult Nala and Simba, respectively.  Both are hugely talented singers and dancers, and are destined for great things on the stage or movies and television, wherever they chose to land.  They were wonderful with all the moms and kids, answering questions and posing for pictures with everyone. 

The Lion King is not a show that is easy to write about; so much of it is visual and defies words.  From the waving grass on the savannah represented by dancers posing and contorting themselves on the ground, to the African-inspired songs sung in Swahili, to the visual schtick of comic relievers Timon and Pumbaa, the show is chock-full of stunning imagery and auditory delights.

This is a show I can recommend for the entire family, although, be forewarned that some scenes may be intense for the youngest children.  There were a 3 year old and 5 year old sitting in front of me who took the whole thing in stride, but my son was a little more sensitive to loud noises and the death of Simba's father, Mustafa when he was 5.  Know what your child's sensititivies and tolerances are for loud noises, the idea of a parent's death, and a tremendous amount of visual stimulation and plan accordingly. Older kids will definitely love the music, costumes and jokes.

If you are looking for a real holiday treat, or a terrific present for grandparents, go see this staging of The Lion King before it leaves San Francisco on January 13, 2013.  Tickets are available on-line at SHNSF or by calling 1-888-746-1799.

 

Photo Credit: Top photo by Joan Marcus, courtesy of SHN/Disney. Used with Permission. Bottom Photo by Glennia Campbell, The SilentI.com, All Rights Reserved.

Disclosure: We received three complimentary tickets and some Lion King promotional products from SHN Orpheum, but no financial or other compensation for this post.  As always, the views expressed herein are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of SHN Orpheum or the Disney Corporation.

 

Cavalia Opens in San Jose

Internationally acclaimed circus-style show Cavalia by Normand Latourelle, one of the creators of Cirque de Soleil, arrived in San Jose, California last week amid a flurry of manes and tails and hooves, and local press. Cavalia combines beautiful trained horses, daring feats of riding and acrobatics, lights and music for a spectacular entertainment.  It's a mash-up of horse show and circus, a "Horse de Soleil," if you will. I was there on their arrival with a number of bloggers, newspapers, and TV stations to cover the event.  It's not every day a world-renowned show like this comes to town.

I was driving on Highway 101 near the airport week before last when I noticed a huge white castle-like structure on the side of the highway, normally reserved for empty lots and office parks.  I don't go that way often, but I knew it didn't belong there.  I wondered what it was and saw the sign that said "Cavalia" with a picture of a horse.  I thought maybe San Jose was opening up some new Renaissance dinner theatre or hosting some kind of show pony competition.  I looked it up and found out that it was something much more.  When I received an invitation to attend the press preview, my curiosity got the better of me and I had to see it for myself.

The horses arrived on Friday, much to the delight of the trainers/performers who ride and care for the horses while they travel.  The horses were back from two weeks of R&R at a large horse farm, a kind of horse spa, where I'm sure they enjoyed idyllic frolics through verdant pastures, pedicures, and plenty of fresh air.  The performers also had time off, and were lined up outside the stable to greet their horses when they arrived by truck.  The company had finished a successful run in Mexico City a few weeks prior, and were ready for prime time in San Jose.

Performer Fairland Ferguson came out to greet the members of the press on hand and answer questions about the show, the horses,  and the performers.  There were several young girls along with their moms in attendance, who all wanted to know how one trains to become a performer in Cavalia. Fairland noted that she had grown up around horses and after finishing college had learned trick riding in a dinner-theatre show in her home state of South Carolina.  The performers hail from around the world, and we cold hear them speaking French, Spanish, and English as they milled around waiting for the horses to arrive. 

The horses finally pulled up and the excitement was palpable. It was clear that the performers and the horses share a special bond.  We were then treated to a tour of the stables and a short demonstration in the practice tent of various riding techniques used in the show.

On Tuesday, we were invited back to see a sneak peak of the show, with full costumes, music and lights.

The show is ostensibly about the evolution of the relationship between horses and people, so the opening scene is very austere: a beautiful horse running freely around the arena, and a man in simple costume giving hand an voice commands and befriending the horse.  The segment ends with the man riding bareback on the horse, with no saddle, bits or bridles, just holding onto the horse's mane. It is a simple, gentle performance that was touching and beautiful.

Later, acrobats bound in from the sidelines and perform some amazing tricks, including a guy doing about 30 one-armed handsprings in a row that made me tired just watching him.  A troupe of dancers whirled around while the acrobats performed gravity-defying flips and formed various human pyramids and towers.

In the following segment with a backdrop reminiscent of the Coliseum, Roman riders thundered in, circling the arena, with a rider standing atop a pair of perfectly sychronized, incredibly fast horses.  How the riders kept their balance is a mystery to me, although performer Fairland Ferguson earlier told us that "you have to develop big thighs" to do this.

Probably the most enchanting portion of the show was what looked to me like a fairy tale sequence in which female aerialists, hanging by the thinnest of silver wires, dropped down to swoop above and around male riders and horses.  It was a beautiful, ethereal scene, like colorful birds or angels descending into the theater to protect and guide both horse and rider. The women performed some lovely acrobatic dance moves in the air, while snow fell all around.

As the show progresses, the tricks and settings become more elaborate and fast-paced, culminating with acrobats, aerialists, and two dozen horses all performing simultaneously. It was a dizzying spectacle, and it was hard to know where to look at times with so much happening at once.

Cavalia runs in San Jose from July 18-August 12, 2012. Tickets are available through their website, and range from about $50-$250. VIP packages are available that include dinner and some special access. If you like horses, circuses, or just plain fun, go see it.  You will surely be entertained and delighted.

Disclosure: I was invited as part of the media corps to cover the arrival of the horses and a complimentary short preview of the show. I did not receive any compensation for writing this review. All opinions are solely my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cavalia.

Photos: All photos were taken by Glennia Campbell for TheSilentI.com. Sets, costumes, and scenes depicted are copyright of Cavalia and were photographed permission.  All Rights Reserved.

Toyota USA Museum: Past, Present & Future of Cars

Bloggers Demonstrate the Toyota Jump

During my trip to TWIN Camp, one of the trip highlights was a visit to the Toyota USA Automobile Museum in Torrance, California.  Driving through a business district in Torrance, it would be easy to miss the museum if you weren't specifically looking for it.  It's a fairly nondescript-looking gray building that appears more like a dealership than a museum on the outside. On the inside, it's jam-packed with  hundreds of representative models of Toyota's unique and distinctive contributions to automotive history, or at least as it has evolved in the United States. It's like Alice slipped down the rabbit hole and right into Cars Land.

An Early Toyopet, the Hello Kitty of Cars

Inside, we learned about the history of Toyota in America.  Toyota Motor Sales, USA was founded in 1957 in Hollywood, California.  The first Toyotas to hit American soil were called Toyopet and were sold in a handful of dealerships beginning in 1958, along with the Land Cruiser.  The Toyopet, which I thought was completely adorable, was smaller and more expensive than most American-made cars and didn't really fit the US market.  Toyota decided to pull the line in 1961 and focus instead on the sturdy, all-terrain Land Cruiser until 1965, when the Corona arrived.  Toyota introduced the economical Corolla in 1967, which has become the world's best-selling passenger car of all time, with over 27 million sold in 140 countries around the globe.  The rest, as they say, is history.

Inside the Toyota Museum, you can see examples of all of these models from the past, and some special, futuristic eco-friendly cars as well.  One car was so small that it looked like my eleven year old son could drive it.  In fact, I think I have purse larger than that. 

Minority Report Lexus Concept Car

The Lexus branded concept car from the movie "Minority Report" is on display, along with some memorabilia from the move.  The car was all sexy rounded shapes and slick design, in a dark red tone that I'm sure I have a lipstick to match.  I'm not a Tom Cruise fan, but regardless of who would be driving it, this is one hot-looking car.

 

Jenny & Jill Show Off Their Toyota Jumping Skills

 

Along with a hundred or more cars, there are displays on Toyota's advertising history, with some familiar slogans like "You asked for it, You Got It...Toyota!" and "Oh, What a Feeling" with the famous "Toyota jump" in the ads.  Jenny from Mommin' it Up and Jill from Diaper Diaries showed us how the Toyota jump should be done.  Later, everyone else got into the act and demonstrated the Toyota jump.

About large bookcases line one wall of the museum and display row after row of quality and service awards that Toyota has won over the years, including JD Power & Associates Quality Awards.  It was an impressive sight to see so many trophies lined up in one place.

After viewing all of these fine vehicles, displays, and awards, I was sorry that my husband and son didn't have a chance to join me at the Toyota USA Museum.  I think my son would have loved the race cars, and my husband would have enjoyed seeing a pristine version of his beloved and dearly departed 1981 Corolla on display.  During our visit, quite a few Facebook and Twitter followers of the TWIN campers expressed extreme jealousy at our being so near to some really special cars.

Maybe on your next trip to Disneyland to see Cars Land, you can stop in at a real land of cars and enjoy the view.

Toyota Tailgate

 Note: The Toyota USA Automobile Museum is open by appointment only. If you are planning to be in Torrance, California, it's worth planning a trip to view the cars.  For an appointment to see the museum, call Susan Sanborn at (310) 468-4728 or email her at susan_sanborn [at] toyota.com.

Disclosure: I was selected for participation in the TWIN community through a program with Clever Girls Collective. I did not receive any compensation for writing this post, or payment in exchange for participating. The opinions expressed herein are mine, and do not reflect the views of Toyota.

Photo Credits: All photos are © Glennia Campbell 2012.

Disney California Adventure Cars Land Opening: Seeing Stars

Disney California Adventure' s new Cars Land opened recently, and I was fortunate enough to be part of the media corps of bloggers covering the grand reopening of the park as a guest of Disney Parks & Resorts.  It was an exciting, memorable event that included a red carpet with celebrity guests, thousands of media folks from television, radio, print and online news sources, and a chance to experience Cars Land firsthand before the eager public arrived.  As usual, Disney put on a thrilling show, featuring the opening of Cars Land, an entrance reimagined to look like Walt Disney's Hollywood of the late 1920's, and a brand new techno-night party called the Mad Hatter's T-Party. 

 

Larry the Cable Guy, voice of Mater in "Cars"

The first night featured a red carpet with some of the voice talent from the movie "Cars", including the voice of Mater himself, Larry the Cable Guy.  Larry is a very friendly guy, much like Mater in the movie, and joked around with everyone from the mombloggers to the TV broadcasters to the Radio Disney correspondent on hand.

Larry's co-star, Bonnie Hunt, seemed a little more shy, and was hiding under a baseball cap.  I didn't realize it was her until she was halfway down the red carpet. Owen Wilson was nowhere in sight.

Real Housewives of Cars Land Carry Prada

John Ratzenberger, the Pixar "good luck charm" who appears in some capacity in every Pixar movie, was seemed to enjoy the attention. Ratzenberger's date was carrying a very interesting Cars-adorned Prada bag.  I didn't see these on sale in the gift shop.  Apparently, only the Real Housewives of Cars Land know where to get these.

Transit of Venus 2012

 

Transit of Venus

 

On June 5, North America got to witness a rare sight: the transit of Venus across the face of the sun.  This alignment of Venus falling between the earth and the sun shows up as a small dot traveling across the face of the sun.  This astronomical occurrence won't happen again until 2117.

My husband Frank was out with our local astronomy club and was able to capture the image above using his digital camera and a high-powered telescope.  He texted me several times that day to tell me to look outside at sun down so I could see it.  Unfortunately, I was on the East Coast, where giant storm clouds covered the sky most of the day.  I didn't get to see it for myself.  I was glad that he and Alex got a chance to witness this once-in-a-lifetime event.  It looked like a lovely sight.

"Venus favors the bold."
-Ovid

Photo Credit: Frank Schellenberg, used with permission. All Rights Reserved.

Annular Eclipse: May 20, 2012

 

Eclipse Watchers in Redding, California

 We traveled up to Redding, California last weekend to pursue one of our favorite family activities: viewing a solar eclipse.  This time, we didn't need a fancy cruise ship or a trip to the Sahara Desert or even an airplane to get to the site.  We just drove our trusty, dusty Lexus RX300 about four hours north.  

An Annular Eclipse is one in which the moon covers most, but not all, of the sun.  What's left is known as the "Ring of Fire".  You don't get the same twilight effect or the diamond ring of a total eclipse, but it is still a pretty spectacular sight.  The moon moves slowly over the sun, leaving only a golden ring shining through.  The center line of this particular annular eclipse ran through Oregon, Northern California, Nevada, New Mexico, and the Texas Panhandle. It's a once-in-every-forty-years sight at any given location, so it was worth the drive north to see it in all its glory.  The last annular we viewed was in Costa Rica when Alex was 18 months old.  

We headed out on our 2012 eclipse adventure on Saturday, May 19, after a rushed packing job that left us without sunscreen, lawn chairs, or hats.  As much as we travel, you'd think we wouldn't forget essentials, but it happens to the best of us. We made do with what we had, which included a golf umbrella in the car, and even a grocery bag that Frank fashioned into a hat so his head wouldn't roast.  Thankfully, I found an emergency supply of sunscreen in my purse.

Sundial Bridge

We met up with some local friends who are also eclipse buffs the night before for dinner.  We weren't quite sure where the best viewing spots would be, so we debated the various spots that were recommended by the local astronomy club as good bets.  We decided to play it by ear, waiting to see what the weather would be prior to making a decision. 

On Sunday, we woke up to cerulean skies and little cloud cover.  The news reported that it would be hot, so we thought that being near water would be a good bet.  We spent the morning touring Redding, which is a lovely little town with view of Mt. Lassen and Mt. Shasta off in the distance, surrounded by lakes made from the hydro-electric dam nearby.  The Sundial Bridge over the Sacramento River is something of an architectural marvel, with a tall spire swooping above the river like a tall-masted ship flowing in the wind.  We walked across the glass-tiled bridge and enjoyed the views of the river and hundreds of tiny birds swooping over and under the bridge.

Visiting the Salton Sea

Driving through the desert in Southern California is a study in contradictions. We drove from the opulent resorts of Palm Springs to the abandoned buildings and forgotten towns of Imperial County, where the unemployment rate is the highest in the state. The desert landscape is dotted with date palms, scrub, and not much else.  When my son looked up from his video game player long enough, he looked up and said, "Hey, mom, is that the ocean?"

I was looking in the opposite direction and replied, "We're pretty far from the ocean." Then, I saw it: the calm, blue waters of the Salton Sea, looming on the horizon like a mirage in the desert.

The Salton Sea is on of the world's largest inland seas and one of the lowest spots on earth (-227 feet below sea level).  The sea existed in ancient times, but dried up until 1905 when high spring flooding on the Colorado River crashed the canal gates leading into the developing Imperial Valley.  For the next 18 months the Colorado River rushed into the dry seabed, creating the current 35 mile long,15 mile wide inland sea.  The sea is saltier than the Pacific Ocean, but not as salty as the Great Salt Lake, and the increasing salinity over time has lead to changes in the ecosystem. The only fish that can be caught there are tilapia, but hundreds of gorgeous waterbirds make their homes and migratory stops along the shores of the Salton Sea.

About 14 miles of the shoreline is used for human recreation (boating, kayaking, fishing, and camping), but due to state budget cuts, most of these services are dwindling. There is a State Recreation Area near Mecca, California, and that is where we stopped for a visit.

We drove through a thicket of palm trees to the park entrance, where a friendly park attendant named Nick took our $5 entrance fee and gave us a sticker to put on the car.  We drove to the lot by the Visitor's Center, which was closed when we arrived. There was one other family in the parking lot at the time, and a lone fisherman out on a jetty casting a line out to the sea.  We decided to explore the beach a little, and could see hundreds of gulls and large white birds that looked like swans floating by in pairs.

Renaissance Esmeralda Resort & Spa: A Desert Oasis

If you're looking for a true oasis in the desert, with luxury spa, swimming pool complex that includes a mini-beach for the kids, and an excellent restaurant, the Renaissance Esmeralda Resort & Spa in Indian Wells, California is the place for you.  Thanks to Klout Perks, we were fortunate enough to spend the night in this luxury resort, and enjoyed every minute of our brief stay here.  We booked a special rate that included a "Kids Eat Free" promotion. We enjoyed two meals at the Cava Restaurant, with their fresh, well-prepared menu items and well-stocked buffets.

After driving all day into the wilds of Southern California and Los Angeles, we finally made it to Palm Springs on our Holiday Road Trip 2011. We passed through the glittering lights of swanky downtown Palm Springs, home of movie stars, golf courses, and Sonny Bono, and ventured a bit further to Indian Wells and the Renaissance Esmeralda.  The lobby decor was tastefully simple, and I liked the display of candles in the entryway. The Renaissance Esmeralda was the exact counterpoint to the glitzy, over-the-top Madonna Inn we stayed in the night before.

Our room overlooked the massive swimming pool, with a view of the mountains in the distance.  The room was decorated with clean simple lines in muted desert tones. The beds were comfortable, with plenty of soft, cushy pillows. We had a small balcony overlooking the pool area, and in the morning, could see the mountains off in the distance.

The hotel did not seem terribly busy, so the pool was empty most of the time we were there.  It is heated year round, but the chilly air probably kept most of the guests at bay.  Our son, who must have been raised by dolphins in a past life, is never deterred by a little cold when it comes to swimming.  He insisted on trying it out the night we arrived.  He was particularly fond of the little sand beach, a great place to build a sandcastle.

Renaissance Hotels are part of the Marriott chain, but on of the higher-end of the spectrum.  Even so, the price for a night was only $129, including free meals for kids with the purchase of an adult entree.  There is a separate resort fee of $25 that covers parking, internet access and other amenities. The prices vary from $99 to $329/night depending on the season and check-in dates.

Alex was so enchanted with the place he asked,"Can we come back here and stay for a week?"

I was inclined to agree with him, and would love to go back and check out the Spa and other restaurants, and see more of what the Palm Springs area has to offer.

Disclosure: Thanks to Klout for sharing a $200 gift card with us from Renaissance Hotels as a Klout Perk. I received no other compensation or incentive to write this post.  All opinions expressed herein are my own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Klout, Renaissance Hotels, or Marriott.

Funky, Cool Madonna (Inn)

Driving on Highway 101 from Los Angeles to San Francisco, there is an unmistakable midway-point that every frequent traveler knows: The Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo.  The glowing neon sign, complete with animated horse-drawn stage coach, beckons weary travelers into a giant themepark of a hotel, where each of the 109 rooms is unique. If you love Americana, kitsch and funky decor, this place is a must-see.

We're on the road again, this time on a holiday road trip to visit family in Texas. When plotting our course, Frank asked me what stops along the way would be on my wishlist, and the first thing that came to mind was the Madonna Inn.  I have seen the neon sign and the sprawling property from the highway on a number of trips, and heard that some of the rooms featured showers shaped like rock waterfalls. I knew I had to stay there someday.

The Madonna Inn has been a mainstay of California hospitality since the late 1950's, when Alex and Phyllis Madonna opened a 12-room inn. Alex was an architect and Phyllis was an interior designer and the two of them had a vision of a new kind of hotel that featured a different decor in every room, on a larger scale than a traditional bed and breakfast.  The Inn expanded over the years as it became a popular venue for weddings, parties, and honeymooners, and became an attraction unto itself.  I have wanted to go there for years, and finally had my chance.

When my trusty travel agent (aka my husband Frank) tried to book a waterfall room, he was informed that these rooms only have single king beds. Since we're traveling with a child, we had to choose a double room due to their "no rollaway policy."  We opted instead for the España Room, having no idea what we were getting into. It sounded vaguely European, and being adventurous sorts, we went for it.  Frank read a bunch of bad reports on a certain travel website that I can't stand, but I convinced him that one night would not kill us.  Frank told our 11 year old son Alex that the place was allegedly haunted. Alex was expecting a Ghost Hunters type of adventure, and was ready to film it, should anything go bump in the night.

Upon arrival, the first thing Alex asked the desk clerk was, "Is this place haunted?" 

She seemed a little startled by this question, and abruptly answered, "No." 

Alex was crestfallen. I told her he was looking forward to seeing a ghost or two, and she said, "Well, I haven't seen any, but who knows? Maybe Mr. Madonna is hanging around somewhere." 

Encouraged by the possibility, Alex perked up and set out to find a bathroom while we checked in. There were a number of loud Christmas parties and a quicenera going on in the restaurants, and when he returned, he was elated and told us, "There is a bathroom AND a dance party going on down there!" He didn't see any ghosts, but teenagers doing the Dougie was way more fun.

The España Room was everything I imagined it to be, and more. If the name "España" evokes bullfighters, flamenco dancers, and Spanish style furniture from the 1950s, then this room is for you. The room features two very spacious bedrooms, and a bathroom with a large outer dressing room. While the bathroom did not have a rock waterfall, it was adorned with black, white, and teal tile that looked like something used for infant brain stimulation, and a gilded sink that looked like it was stolen from Elvis' boudoir.  The toilet was the only non-Spanish themed piece in the rooms; instead, it a was a fancy Japanese Toto toilet with a heated seat and bidet.  I almost expected it to play flamenco music when I sat on it, but it was remarkably silent.  I was overcome by the urge to do the Paso Doble on the faux-parquet linoleum.

All of the furniture was ornately carved, and the window shutters featured a stained glass that made the room glow pink in the morning light. The walls were painted to look like stucco, with trompe l'oeil exposed brick in parts, to give it that "old world" feel, I suppose. I particularly liked the bullfighter painting in the bedroom, and the big resin bull statue by the bed.

Alex and Frank ventured out into the chilly night to the pool, which is heated year-round and has an adjacent jacuzzi.  They returned and Frank, the skeptic in all this, declared it "delightful."  We were sold.

Alex did not see any ghosts at the Madonna Inn, so he settle for a marathon of Ghost Adventures on the Travel Channel. My only complaint about the room was that the bed was not terribly comfortable, so I tossed and turned a great deal and could not get comfortable. He complained the next day that I was grinding my teeth like a chainsaw and was moaning and groaning all night... 

Or was I?

We enjoyed our stay at the Madonna Inn, but I will warn you that a night in one of their themed rooms is not cheap, ranging in price from $179 to over $500.  It's a fun place to stopover on a family trip, and if you have time, there are several restaurants and spa services available.  The grounds overlook the mountains and a large fenced-in farm next door.  It is definately worth the price, for a little bit of fun California history in a lovely setting.

The Madonna Inn is located at 100 Madonna Road, San Luis Obispo, California, just off Highway 101. For reservations call (800) 543-9666.